I collected myself somehow when my moans went muffled, as my throat choked. I went back to my room and cursed myself for trusting him, for all those walks we walked hands in hands, for all raindrops that touched me in a way he touched me, all those tea I drank with him and felt his warmth, and every ounce of second I spent with him should be cursed,erased and buried. I woke up with swollen red eyes, I looked at myself in the mirror and the word kept revolving was Quit. I washed my face and as soon as my clear face started to emerge out I thought No Sia No, you can't surrender that soon. Life isn't impossible. You have to spend your rest of good days here alone make it happen.
I changed into clothes which suited me well out of the routine applied little makeup to hide my swollen eyes and pale face and apart from makeup I wore the prettiest fake smile to beautify the hidden pain. I went nearby shop grabbed patties as sandwich started seeming bitter breakfast and went straight to the lab. I placed my bag started eating as my regular habit and things seemed normal like nothing happened sandwich was there like a little part of old Akash was left there as a piece of sandwich remembering old days.
I didn't eat today nor much smiled. Vedant came and asked Sia Mam today you aren't having a sandwich, I replied I am already full.
Vedant kept saying something which was surely fallen on my ears but my mind refused to process anything when from. the corner of my eye, I looked at Akash he was as normal as he could be like nothing happened yesterday smiling doing his work like usual not even a sign of any regret was there on his face. It made me furious, I was feeling irritated how come he be so normal while the storm was rising deep inside me. I went straight to him and tapped on his shoulder. He looked back saying hey whats up Sia. My eyes were damn red as they could be. I controlled my tears, as I didn't want this time to end my anger into a burst of tears. I replied what? How could you react like nothing happened, I am hurt. He looked away with a cunning smile and said listen don't you act like some sati-Savitri okay! I have heard so much about Delhi girls and your desires, I just offered you your expectations. I know you all big city girls want to hang out and chill, one night stands to seem casual to you and I just asked for the kiss. What's wrong with that? I looked straight into his eyes innocence have left me by this time and without wasting any another second of my life to not realise him his actual place or I should say his "Aukaat", I slapped him hard, hard as much as my strength multiplied to 10 times of my level of anger and pulled out the ring throwing directly on his face. Silence prevailed for a few moments, two more interns were there. Akash left the lab without uttering any single word. Everyone looked at me in shock.
If today I wouldn't have slapped him, I would have regretted it my whole life. The storm has shown his effect. As soon as Akash left the room, I shouted to both of them looking at me, what? Go back to your work. I went back to my desk and started preparing for my experiment, putting out chemicals, beakers, burette and everything out of the shelf. as fast as I could. I saw the empty bottle of diluted HCL, I headed towards the shelf with big containers of chemicals to refill the small bottle. Vedant called my name and with half broken words slowly started saying in between of my way Si...Siaaa I just I just.. I shouted what? He said Are you okay? I shouted Can't you see? Can't you do your work? Vedant words went completely silent. I started pouring chemical into my bottle. He interrupted again I think you should go and have rest. I shouted again Shut up and do your work, I am all fine. He went away.
I started arranging beaker to proceed my chemical reactions and my mind was out of the place completely. The test tube fell from my hand and shattered into pieces like my heart was. Vedant came again for rescue, Sia mam be careful, this time I shouted like hell you stay out of it, go to hell whats your problem? Get lost. He looked at me blankly and left the lab saying okay I am going you relax, I am sorry. As he approached towards the exit, another intern followed him asking wait vedant what happened? The girl who didn't know about even raising his voice loud, today shouting like never before. Maybe I had lost some part of me which was humble, polite and kind. I didn't care how I talked to verdant and kept working.
I was all alone in the lab, all the memories started coming back in front of my eyes. I started weeping silently setting up set up for experiment placing tripod with wire gauze above and burner below to perform the reaction in the presence of heat. I mixed the copper lead solution in a test tube holding my tears back and test tube with the help of tongs over the wire gauze above the burner to heat up the solution observing changes. I was not stable, I hurriedly started pouring dil. HCL slowly into the test tube After 30 seconds, the huge noise of explosion took place test tube went into pieces, my hands shivered and my hands dropped half broken test tube piece into the bottle of dil. HCL which burst due to chemical reactions. The world went numbed in front of my eyes, the pieces of glass started digging their sharp edges on my face. The fire hit my skin swaying its layer away until my flesh and blood feel the heat of the fire. My whole life started running like a movie all those happy faces of My mom, dad and brother images flashed in front of my eyes, all those moments we had cherished together, the moment I entered Chandigarh, the last hug of my mom and for last moment my beautiful skin emerged in front of my eyes which was all on fire by now. I wished I could see my parents for one last time.
Stunning
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