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Chapter 29- Don't uglies have right to Love? - Final Goodbye.


Vikram kept looking at his mother without saying anything, Jai stood up making darling lay on bed lifeless and went towards window without saying anything wiping his tears off to keep his promise to darling. Dhwani took a step back to give Vikram a moment with his mother, Vikram came near to darling, he was about to touch her lifeless face, Jai said aloud, Don't touch her, Just don't. Go back and be busy with thousands of meetings and your stupid fucking business which stopped you even seeing your mother in her last times. Vikram's throat was so heavy, he was unable to utter even a single word, Dhwani passed him a glass of water.
 Jai turned back and looked at him furiously started shouting on him, Mr Kashyap why are you here now, where were you when she was struggling for every breath, where were you when we needed you the most, in fact where were you when we both needed you ever, answer me where were you? Vikram looked stunned at him seeing his hatred towards him. Jai continued, I thought you would care about the mother who gave birth to you at least but no you didn't, you know I gave her bouquet hiding behind it and what she thought it was you who have come all the way to wish her on her big day or you can say to meet her on her last day, She has gone and you should too, saying this he smashed his fist on the wall.
 Dhwani ran towards him to stop him. Vikram looked for a second at her mother then touched her feet without saying anything picked up his briefcase and left. Dhwani's mom took Aadi downstairs to not make him feel that grandma has gone. Mehr came in touching grandma's feet wiped her tears off saying, Dhwani you be with Jai, I am going to complete all the formalities to take the body at home. Jai went closer to her bedside holding her hand in his and bent his head on her hands kept sitting like that for a while to feel her for the last time, Dhwani kept crying standing far away at the window seeing Jai's pain.
 Mehr came back after completing all the formalities said we can take the body home in the morning, putting a hand on Jai's shoulder in condolence, get up Jai, you are brave, we have to do all the preparation for the cremation. He looked back wiping his tears said, yes Di. Grandma was kept in the morgue for the night while Jai got everything prepared and called out his near or dears to broke the news of grandma's demise. Dhwani stayed over with him at the hospital to help him out with anything that is needed while her mom, Aadi and Di went back and Jai went home to bring some fresh clothes and to guide the servants for the cremation. He reached home and saw his Dad leaving in a cab from distance, he went in asked what he was doing here? A servant replied He came in a few minutes ago, had water went into your room and then Grandma's room stayed at both the rooms for a while stared around, took the picture of you both and left without saying much.
 Dhwani received a call from Ruhi, she was holding back her tears to keep Jai stay strong, she didn't want to broke in front of him. As soon as, she picked up the call, she broke down in front of her, Ruhi became worried and asked what happened Dhwani tell me. Why are you crying tell me? Is everything okay? Where are you? Dhwani kept crying over the call, Ruhi asked her to calm down and tell what happened? Dhwani was sobbing tried to say few words but with heavy breathing and sobbing she was unable to say anything, Ruhi asked her to calm down and have a glass of water. Dhwani had some water and then told her about the darling's demise, Ruhi asked today was her birthday? If I am right? Dhwani replied, yes we celebrated that like we had planned and thought it to be but after few hours suddenly her lungs started failing and she was not able to breathe, then after struggling for an hour she died. Ruhi replied, Oh shit! Jai must be going through a hard time, she replied, Yes. Dhwani heard someone coming over, she thought it could be Jai, she said to Ruhi, I'll call you later, Jai is coming, she quickly wiped her tears off to stay strong in front of him.
 Jai entered into the room, seeing an empty bed, the void started killing him inside. He kept looking blankly at the bed, remembering her birthday celebration just a few hours ago, when everyone had a smile on their face when he danced with her giving her last best moments of her life when everyone was sharing happiness, seeing the room empty with all her birthday decorations, Jai finds his world collapsing in front of him. Dhwani came near to him and putting her one hand on his shoulder said, Jai we did it, you remember how you always had feared to lose her without fulfilling her last wish, death and life is part of life but spending it blissfully is a gift which you already had presented to her today and since the days she has been admitted here. Jai replied, Yes I am happy about it at least life gave me a chance to give her moments back, now I can spend my life with some peace and void which she has left. Dhwani replied, Tomorrow is cremation, let's pack up, Jai I know you are strong and she always wished to see you smile. He replied, can you sit with me for a while before we pack up this room as if there had no memories. She sat down beside him holding his hands, for some time they kept seeing the room without uttering any words.
 Jai stood up and started packing all the stuff they had decorated as well as all the stuff he had brought from her room. He took out all the books from the shelf and placed it in a box, Dhwani gave him hand in doing so started packing off the birthday banner, pictures she had pasted, the lights. Jai took off the picture of grandma and grandpa from the wall touched it as if he wanted to feel her touch for one last time and packed it in a newspaper safely. Dhwani empty the water out of Lord Ganesha's showpiece and packed it in bubble wrap to make it break safe. Jai took out albums and start going through the pages looking blankly at her grandma's smile which he would never see again except in these pictures. Dhwani packed her clothes and took off the drawing frame which was made by Jai. They both looked around, the room was all empty now like any other room in the hospital.
 Jai placed the box over the box and looked around for the final check if anything has left but there was nothing except the memories. He went near the window from which he used to look outside every day to see that sky one last time where he always looks and prayed for her speedy recovery. He looked at the sky and went lost in his thoughts, then he looked at the faraway lights but today there was nothing, the darkness surrounded everything, the far-away lights were turned off as his hopes had.
 Dhwani asked Jai lets go driver is waiting, it's already late. Jai looked lost, without saying anything picked up boxes and started walking. Dhwani went behind him, he was lost somewhere he didn't want to talk or feel like saying anything. He was all quite. They reached home, he didn't say a single word in the whole journey, he placed boxes in the lobby and sat on the sofa.  The maid came with water, he refused to drink. Then Dhwani signalled maid to leave the glass on the table and she will make him drink. Dhwani said Jai, please have some water, you haven't eaten in hours, this would make you fall ill. Please at least have a glass of water, you know grandma won't love to see you like this and passed him a glass of water, then he took the sip of water. She asked him to take some rest. He replied, you also had not eaten anything since hours, please feel free to ask the maid for anything you want to grab and then you can take rest in my room, I don't feel like sleeping, I will be sitting here, you can use my room. Dhwani replied, either we are going to eat together or else I don't want to eat anything. He replied, okay I'll eat with you.
 Dhwani asked the maid to show her the kitchen and went in, she made simple khichdi, took out two plates and served khichdi with extra ghee on the top of it.  She came back into the living room and passed him his plate.  Jai kept looking at his plate blankly, Dhwani said, start eating, it is delicious when you eat it hot. He replied Grandma used to cook khichdi when I did feel like eating nothing and the same way she used to add extra ghee on the top. Dhwani felt sad seeing Jai's grief but hiding her sadness, she tried cheering him up saying, think it's made by her, she wants you to eat something or else how would I have made the same dish. They ate in silence.
 After eating, the maid took their plates.  Jai asked Dhwani to go in room and rest.  Dhwani said, you should also, Jai replied, please Dhwani I want to stay alone for some time. She didn't force him and went into his room giving him his space. She could not sleep thinking about what all has happened. She kept lost in her thoughts staring at the ceiling then counting the tiles. Dhwani stood up to check on Jai, she went into lobby, she saw him curled up in himself with a dupatta over him, she thought it must be of grandma. Her eyes became wet seeing Jai crumbling. She went near him sitting beside him caressed his head, he looked at her without saying anything he put his head on her lap and started weeping. Dhwani didn't said anything to let his pain come out. After some time Dhwani noticed he stopped sobbing, she looked at his face and saw he had fallen asleep, she didn't move, not to disturb him. Soon she also went into sleep on the sofa.
 Next morning, everyone started gathering at his residence. Jai and Dhwani was ready with all the preparations to say final goodbye to grandma, soon ambulance with her dead body approached Jai's house, the siren filled the void of silence, Jai's heart started to sink thinking about seeing her for last time. Dhwani looked around at bunch of people finding familiar face of Vikram but she didn't find him anywhere. Mehr and her mother also came leaving Aadi at neighbours home.
 She was lying lifeless on ground in the lobby behind was her picture which showed very well how lively she was. Neighbours, few distant relatives and friends showed up showing condolence to Jai and one by one started putting flowers on grandma's body and touched her feet to take her blessing for one last time. Jai stood quite and kept looking at darling briefly as he was drawing her on his canvas of memory. A distant relative came to Jai and said we should now proceed to cremation ground, it's time to let her go Jai. He said can I have a moment. Jai went beside her, looked at her for a while, seeing this Dhwani was about to cry, Mehr came closer to her holding her hand said, stay strong Dhwani, he need you. She hugged her without saying anything, Jai looked as if he has lost his world and he can't see anything beyond, he was all lost. Then Jai caressed her cheeks, her head for the last time, his eyes were moist seeing her lying lifeless Infront of him. Pandit ji said, beta get up we need to move on now.
 
Jai kissed her forehead for the last time and stood up, the three more people came Infront to give her shoulder with Jai. Pandit ji started chanting, Ram Ram Satya hai, while everyone followed the same. They started moving, stopped at a temple for last blessings to make her soul rest in peace,they moved to nearby cremation ground. Her dead body was placed on long cylindrical blocks of wood, Jai took pot of water on his shoulder took circles around her performing rituals. Then, Pandit ji gave him a wood of fire to give fire to her dead body. He paused for a while, his heart was sinking. He looked at Dhwani with eyes full of tears, Dhwani signalled him with tears in her eyes, we have to do this. He gave fire to her dead body with heavy heart and went behind seeing her turning into ashes closed his eyes and prayed for her soul to rest in peace . Dhwani came beside him and hold his hand, he looked at her and then kept looking at the flames.
 They started moving back to their homes, Jai was talking to Pandit Ji about further post cremanation rituals, while Dhwani see off her Di and mother saying she will be staying him for sometime and will come later home. She was waiting for Jai standing beside car, she saw Vikram walking towards her. Vikram came near, before he could have said anything, Dhwani said, Jai is just coming, he is talking to Pandit Ji. Vikram replied, I came here to meet you, She looked surprised. He continued, I saw you looking around at our residence, I am sure you were searching me,I don't know you. But I am sure you are a good person, you didn't hate me for who I am. You still wanted me to see my mother final ceremony. I was hiding behind people, because I don't deserve any of it, Jai's hatred towards me is of no doubts, I saw you with him at the hospital also. I don't know who you are to him but what I know is, he needs you. I was never there for them and now they don't need me anymore, nobody could be more unluckier than me, who was not even able to say final goodbye to his mother and was hiding behind people to see her for one last time while she died hoping to meet me for one last time. I am going back to London, I'll never be able to get courage to face Jai ever or to come back India. Dhwani was listening to him patiently. He blessed Dhwani putting his hand on her head saying, I am not a good person or father but still as his father I request you to be with him, he will not share his pain ever but I am sure you are cure to it, please stay with him. Saying God bless you handing over her two gold bangles of grandma which she had given to Maya and then Maya returned them to Vikram after their divorce, and said, you deserve this, then he left, Dhwani stood there grasping what he just said.
 Jai came back, Dhwani hide those bangles not to disturb Jai telling him about his Dad words. Jai said, Pandit Ji have said on 7th day from now, I need to go Haridwar for final prayers and to give off her leftovers. I'll come along with you; I'll apply for leaves. You don't have to get bother, you already have done a lot for us two, now you should take a break.  Your life had been revolving around us from last month, I think you should think about yourself. Dhwani insisted him saying we are like family Jai. He replied, we will look after this, let's go home, I'll ask driver to drop you off at your place. She sensed loneliness in his voice and said, Can I stay with you, Jai? He replied, I know Dhwani you care about me you don't want me to feel alone, that’s why you are saying this, but please don't worry about me. I just need sometime alone with me. I don't feel like getting surrounded by anyone, please try to understand me. Dhwani accepted his request and said, I understand Jai, take your time.
 Nobody spoke anything on the way back, both were lost in their own shell of memories with grandma, soon they reached outside Jai's house. He got off, Dhwani got down along with him to stay for at least a little while, Jai saw his family and friends still gathered at his residence, he didn't want to see people, so he asked Dhwani to stay for a while until everyone leaves so it would be easy for him to bear hearing again and again, that his darling is no more. They went inside, everyone started sharing their condolence with him, few came and asked about Vikram and Maya , to which Jai stood numb. Dhwani asked people through eyes to drop off the mention of his parents at this point of time. Soon everyone left the house, he said, Dhwani you should also leave, it is getting late now. She replied, at least have something to eat then, I'll leave. Jai replied, don’t worry about me, I'll eat something, I don't feel having anything right now. Dhwani didn't force him further respecting his privacy said, okay you please take care. Jai called out the driver to drop Dhwani, he went outside to drop her at the car like he used to do, He pulled out the gate of the car, Dhwani went in and he pushed the door to close. He wasn't looking straight at Dhwani, which made her realise, he has tears in his eyes, She took out his hand out of window hold his hand on the edge of car's window and said, I am just a call away, Jai. He blinked his eyes to her affirmation.
 The car flies away out of sight, he kept looking at the way blankly while Dhwani kept looking at him pulling her face out of the window blankly. Soon he went out of sight, Dhwani wept to herself. He went inside and found himself engulf in infinite loneliness. He asked servants to leave the house for a few days as he wants to be alone. They left, he went to backyard took grandma's chair on which she used to sit at the backyard, sat down and kept looking at the sky as if he was trying to figure out which star she has become.
 
 

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Chapter 24- Don't uglies have right to Love? - Life happens with everyone.

Next Day,They decided to practice at Dhwani's place and meanwhile they would be able to celebrate her birthday with her family. Jai asked Miss Rozy for favor one more day,she smiled and replied,anything for you and grandma.He became so happy after hearing this,he already have told grandma about the invitation.He went back and found doctor around her checking her regular observations.Jai asked How is she doing? Doctor smiled,the reports are really good,she is showing positive response.I am glad to see such response at her age.Jai thanked doctor.He left saying,keep up good care of her. After doctor left,grandma said,see I am getting better,you don't need to be around me always.Jai go ahead and live your life to fullest.He told her, I love to be around you,only you have insisted me that's why I asked  Miss Rozy and she said she could stay with you.He hold grandma's hand and said,I wish you could join us too.I speak over phone to Dhwani,she was saying also,it wo